I know why the weather blows

There has been a lot of talk around here about the weather lately. Frankly, the weather has sucked. I think it often helps matters to lay some blame so I'm going to level my accusations at that ever popular scapegoat - the liberal media. That's right those tree hugging, touchy-feely, fact mongers in the liberal media (some would say liberal media elite, although I personally have a hard time giving a negative connotation to the word elite, but that's just me) are using every tool at their disposal to cripple our economy and bring this nation down, even to the extent of deluging us with near constant thunderstorms and torrential rain. Notice how it's the Northeast that is taking the brunt of the deluge? Well where is the sacred holy land of the elitist (now elitist, that I could see being negative) left wing infotainment mafia? Correct, New York City. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if those demented pranksters over at The Gray Lady had some kind of mad scientist cloud seeding apparatus set up deep in the bowels of their headquarters. What we need is a genuine, red-clad, facts-be-damned Austin Powers type figure to come storming in and shut this Dr. Evil operation down. I think know just the lady to do it. And she just recently cleared her calendar until at least 2012.