Don't Shoot, I Give Up

I think I'm about to run up the white flag. I'm not sure whether I'm surrendering because I'm tired, lazy or scared, but for whatever reason, I think I'm done bike commuting. Maybe it's a combination of all three. I guess I'll probably still ride in once in a while but not every day. I'm sick of the road. I'm fed up with the derision, the ignorance, and the downright malicious intent. I'm tired of the noise and violence of internal combustion as experienced from the shoulder of the road (ironically, my only other option is to embrace internal combustion as a means of transportation.) I'm exhausted from constantly feeling like a target, wondering whether the thunderous roar approaching from behind will be the last sound I ever hear. I'm tired of shuddering with every mention of drivers text messaging behind the wheel. I can't even tell you how tired I am of the fucking brilliant and creative comic geniuses who think it's hilarious to get right alongside a cyclist hurtling downhill on Route 4 and lay on the horn for a good three or four seconds. Good one fellas, that's always a real knee slapper. I'll be honest, I'm a little bit tired of getting up at 4:30 in the morning.I suppose that makes me lazy.

I'm pretty bummed to be relaying all of this. There are so many positives to bike commuting, and if it wasn't for the necessity of riding on Route 4 to get from my home to where I work, I wouldn't be throwing in the towel. I've just felt like I'm playing Russian Roulette every time I've gotten on my bike to ride home lately. It's like jumping out of airplanes. Do it enough times and it will probably kill you. Or, as a wise man once told me, "if you keep going to the barber shop, sooner or later, you're going to get a haircut." The mornings are not quite as bad, probably because there are not as many people driving at 6:00 in the morning as there are at 4:00 in the afternoon. There is, however, a greater likelihood that people driving at 6:00 in the morning are either still drunk from the night before or under-caffeinated, both situations that can lead to bad driving. Luckily, most people, it seems, do not hate cyclists until later in the day. Anyway, it doesn't do me much good to ride to work and then have to find a ride home, although I suppose it's a possibility. If I could move to Killington or work in Rutland, then fine, no problem. It's just that stretch of Route 4 between the two that is totally discouraging me. Heavy traffic, lots of tractor-trailers, varying width of shoulder, dangerous dips, holes, and cracks in the pavement, and stupid people. A recipe for disaster.

Here's what I'm going to miss: filling up my gas tank every two weeks, sometimes three. Commuting to work and getting all the exercise I need all at once. Having a legitimate excuse to buy bike parts, clothing, and other cool stuff. People thinking I'm some kind of superman for riding my bike 12 miles up hill at 6:00 in the morning. Feeling pretty righteous for being part of the solution.