Going to Europe today

Wow, It's been an awfully long time since I've updated this blog. I'm not sure why, I just stopped, I guess. Anyway, I'm anticipating having something fairly interesting to say in the next couple of weeks, so I thought I'd dust off my blogging skills and see if I remembered how to work this thing. Christine and I are heading to Boston this afternoon to fly to Geneva, Switzerland for a Swiss Alps hiking tour. Needless to say, I am very excited, having dreamed of the Alps for nearly my entire life. Mountains are magical to me. Anyway, as time and computer access allow, I'll try to post here and maybe even put up some photos. I'm not traveling with my computer, so I'll be at the mercy of public computing. My choice of camera equipment doesn't really lend itself to easy uploading but I'll give it a shot. Check back soon.

Black Friday musings

Another Black Friday has come and gone and, fortunately, with fewer fatalities than usual. If reading that last sentence made you feel patriotic, then you are not my intended audience, please stop reading. If it made you think " we are the legion of the damned," then congratulations, you can stay. No, really, it is good news. I don't want to see anyone maimed or worse over a really unbelievable deal on a flat screen television. But you can't go putting yourself in harms way without fear of consequences. If you haven't figured it out yet, finding yourself in a Walmart store during the predawn hours is an indication that you are not doing something right. It's just fortunate that enough people are unemployed right now, and thus unable to get really excited about any doorbuster special, that the crowds were less unruly than usual. To Walmart's credit, they did take some measures this year to prevent a recurrence of the tragedy that took place in their Valley Stream NY store a year ago when a shopper was trampled to death. For instance, they stayed open through the night on Thanksgiving day, thus diluting the concentration of people who would normally be storming the doors 4:00 am. Smart. They also beefed up security so that altercations could be handled quickly and without loss of life. According to the New York Times, the worst Black Friday hooliganism of 2009 occurred at a Walmart store in Upland CA, forcing authorities to close the store for a few hours when fights broke out over merchandise. Let's think about this for a minute. The main reason for shopping on Black Friday is to buy Christmas gifts, right? So, presumably, these folks setting the alarm clock for 3:00 am and heading out to Walmart are Christians, right? Does it not seem kind of un-Christian to assault someone over cheap merchandise?

The day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday because it was traditionally the day that retail establishments moved into "the black," or became profitable for the year. This doesn't really happen anymore, but that's beside the point. There are other reasons to call it Black Friday. Retail sales people call it Black Friday because it is the worst day of the year. Having to get up at an inhuman hour to go to work and deal with crazed consumers and then stay late to put a ransacked store back together, all for a wage that comes in somewhere under the poverty level, can be discouraging. And of course, there is the danger. Black Friday is most likely the deadliest day of shopping all year. I'd like to see some traffic statistics. Not only are you likely to come to fisticuffs with your fellow shoppers, anytime you have a convergence of giant sport utility vehicles such as you have in the typical Walmart parking lot, you are bound to have accidents and examples of road rage. Murderous Friday, maybe, would be more accurate.

It's nice to have Black Friday as an add on special day for the Thanksgiving weekend. Spend some time with your family, have a nice meal and contemplate the things you have to be thankful for. Maybe watch some football. better take a nap too, because tomorrow is going to be grueling. Get up early on Friday and put your game face on. It's time to consume. Thankful my ass. Repeat your mantra "must own Blu Ray, must own Blu Ray." You are not taking no for an answer. You have HD TVs in your house that do not have Blu Ray players and you are not going out like that. "Listen lady, I did not get up at 3:00 am to come home empty handed. Now give me that Blu Ray player or I'll slash the tires on your Amigo!"

eLiterature or iLiterature?

As you all know, I am a devotee of haiku. Maybe you didn't know that, actually, but you do now. I am attracted to haiku mainly for it's economy; it's ability to convey a sentiment or idea or universal truth in a very concise way. But, like most westerners who are not tenured staff members of Asian Literature departments at major universities, I don't really understand the intricacies of true Japanese haiku. I do know that there is a lot more to the form than the three lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables each rule that is routinely taught to elementary school children in this country. I know that traditional haiku are nature inspired and have a seasonal component, that the 5-7-5 thing is product of spoken and written Japanese that doesn't translate to English very directly, that there are conventions in the traditional form that probably make the scratchings of typical American haiku laughable to Japanese poets. I suspect that cultural differences between the Japanese and myself make the likelihood of my actually being able to write real haiku in English pretty small. Still, as I said, I'm intrigued by the form.

Another form of writing I've been interested in for a while is called flash fiction. There are no clear cut rules for flash fiction other than it has to be short. Perhaps the best known example of the form is Ernest Hemingway's famous six word story: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." A complete work of fiction in six words, how is that for efficiency? Still, Hemingway is reputed to have considered it his best work. But again, there don't seem to be any clear cut rules for the length of flash fiction. Six words is nice, but we can't all be Hemingway. Personally, I'd probably need more. Fortunately, social networking (or social notworking as most employers call it) has given us the answer. The twitterpoem (prose and verse) twitterstory, and twitternovel. The rules, or rule actually, are simple: 140 characters or less. Now anyone can publish, right from their cell phone, even if they are hobbled by archaic non 4G service (like myself.) It's very democratic, don't you think? And who doesn't have time to string together 140 characters? Judging by the constant onslaught of inane tweets fired across my bow, everyone in the world has time to string together that many words. Now get busy writing and send your resulting works to me for publication right here on NFOT. You can even tweet them to me @youngdavevt. Just do me a favor and try not to write your twitternovel while driving. I don't want any cyclists or pedestrians maimed in pursuit of literary greatness.

Whassup

I haven't posted in a long time. I've been warned not to apologize for such things so I won't. My temptation is to say I've been so busy that I haven't had time to write but that would be an outright lie, unless you equate napping with being busy. No, I have not been particularly busy. I've been facing a bit of a creative block and a bit of apathy. And yes, I have been napping. I have not been standing still though. I have been reading a lot, purging my life of unnecessary material goods, procuring as well as preparing more of my own food, and thinking deep thoughts that would make Jack Handy crap his pants.

Most of my exercise is coming from walking these days, often to the supermarket to buy food. I've been trying to shop every couple of days so I can eat fresher food and food that I'm craving. I also take long walks in the woods of my lovely local park, about a mile from my house. Walking is just the speed that I feel like traveling these days.

I joined a CSA which, for those readers not immersed in a culture liberal do-goodery like we have here in Vermont, is Community Supported Agriculture. It allows me to know the farmers who grow my food on a personal level and contribute to the farm's viability. I give them a specific sum up front and each week of the harvest I go to the farm and pick up a box of just picked produce. It's very inspiring. I like that they hand me a selection of the freshest possible food and I then have to figure out creative ways to prepare it. It forces me to branch out. I had no idea that Brussels sprouts grew on a stalk. I had never seen kale before. I can't recommend CSA enough.

I am trying to rekindle my yoga practice. I went to a class last Tuesday and by Saturday I could walk without a limp again. Not that I was ever a really avid yoga practitioner, but I wish I was. It always makes me feel so good. Tuesday night I slept soundly through the night without waking once and I can't remember the last time I managed that. On a side note, I have mentioned before that when I was riding my bike to Michigan, cycling 65 miles a day and sleeping on the ground every night, my body felt fantastic. I think I figured out why. I wasn't sitting slouched in a chair or on a couch. I had very little access to furniture so my bad posture wasn't sabotaging my ability to be athletic. That's something to think about. I think we Westerners rely a little too heavily on furniture.

I am counting down the days until I go back to the ski shop. Carpentry takes on a whole new aspect this time of year. And by aspect I mean level of discomfort. Because Working in cold rain, standing in the sucking mud, going through five pairs of gloves a day in a futile attempt to preserve some kind of dexterity, all of these things discourage me. Does that make me a wuss? I know people who work outside all Winter, and I do like being outside in the winter, but I kind of like maintaining a level of physical activity that prevents frostbite on toes and fingers. I think it has to do with the kinds of tasks carpenters are charged with. Ever try picking up a stainless steel siding nail with ski gloves on? It's not gonna happen. Which means taking your left glove off and working feverishly to nail up a couple of boards before your hand goes numb, then quickly putting your glove back on and, hopefully, suffering through the burning sensation/nausea of thawing extremities. Believe me, I've had my share of frozen extremities and sometimes it's worth it, like when there's three feet of blower powder and it's ten below but you keep convincing yourself that one more run won't result in amputation, then when you finally get your ski boot off, you're not so sure anymore. That's worth the risk. But for putting siding, or worse yet, roof trim, on a house on the top of a mountain somewhere, well, unless it's your house, not so much worth it. Now, the well organized carpenter, and by well organized I mean lucky, will have planned it so he is working inside for the winter. Which presents it's own set of problems. Like alternately freezing and sweating bullets. No I proffer that it's better to hang up the tool belt for the winter and take a job, oh like, maybe, writing a daily ski report or something, for the Winter. Here's a tip: unless you want to pay 30% more for your construction project, don't have it done between November and April. Unless the work is almost entirely inside. Working outside in the winter around here is just plain inefficient. Do you really want to pay carpenters to spend half the day shoveling snow, chipping ice, and trying to nurse blood back into a frozen left hand?

Thinking about food

The Sunday NY Times Magazine was all about food this week. Good stuff. An interesting article about calorie restriction and the apparent slowing of aging that it causes. If we all ate 25% less than we do, well some of us would have to eat a higher percentage less, we could slow down aging, and drastically reduce heart disease and cancer. Without drugs or even exercise. Problem is, most people would rather die, or at least just take the drugs, than cut 25% of their calories. It is pretty extreme, I guess. Most people that are at a healthy weight to begin with lose 15% of their body weight in the first year of 25% reduction and then plateau. That means that I would weigh about 136 pounds. I would not look well at 136 pounds. I know this because I've been as low as 139 pounds, when I was training really hard and profoundly anemic, and I didn't look well. But I was fast riding my bike and, evidently would have been healthier if I had stayed that weight. If I didn't die from one of my semi-weekly sinus infections or bronchitis. Interesting study nonetheless.

Michael Pollan did a piece where he asked people to send him any rules that they follow concerning what to eat or not eat. There were some good ones. A woman by the name of Michelle Poirot invoked a Zen teaching that says "when you drink tea, just drink tea." In other words, be mindful of your eating, don't eat while you are doing something else. I'm bad about this. I almost always read or watch TV while I'm eating. I need to work on that. Another one that I really thought was good was from Laura Kelley and she said that she uses a rule of economics to avoid overeating. "The law of diminishing marginal utility reminds me that each additional bite is generally less satisfying than the previous bite," she says, so she remembers to slow down and really enjoy the first bites and then stop eating sooner. That's good, I'm going to use that one. There were other good ones, like don't eat anything you are not prepared to kill yourself, and I've thought of that one but I don't really want give up meat all together. One guy said that he doesn't eat anything that is pretending to be something else, which is actually one of my own guidelines. I don't like turkey presented as anything other than turkey. I don't like turkey sausage or turkey burger or turkey ham. If I want to eat turkey, I will and if I must have those other things, then I'll suffer the consequences and enjoy the real thing. This is why I like sausage, bacon, and hot dogs; because they are honest foods. They are not good for you but they taste good so you eat them in moderation and get on with it. Hmm, now I'm hungry.

How to get rear-ended by a local

Well, the foliage season is winding down here in Central Vermont. As beautiful as it is around here this time of year, and as happy as we all are to have some people here for a change to bolster our economy, this time of year presents a few challenges. For reasons that none of us can quite comprehend, people in the throes of a foliage binge will routinely stop their cars in the middle of the road and get out to take photos of nothing in particular. This can be somewhat of a surprise to those of us that end up taking the scenery for granted in the midst of our day to day travels. This year we had an additional challenge presented to us in the form of... hay sculptures. The Killington Chamber of Commerce or Economic Devlopement and Tourism Council, or some such organization sponsored this hay sculpture contest where local businesses built sculptures out of those giant round hay bales. There were bears and beavers and turkeys and owls and sushi rolls and all kinds of random stuff. When I first heard the idea, I have to admit that I thought it was kind of stupid. But it turns out that it was a pretty good idea because people really loved the things and it gave them another reason to stop unexpectedly in the middle of the road for a photo op. I guess this proves conclusively that if you build it, they will come. Even if "it" is something of totally dubious value. The event was such a success that next year they are planning some sort of festival to go along with the sculptures and Cabot Cheese (yum!) wants to sponsor it. People love stuff they can look at without getting too far away from their cars, that's for sure.

0% financing, no money down. For weapons

The automobile is mechanized violence. Seriously. Sure, they feel all soft and friendly from the inside, what with the artificially conditioned air and multi-channel, surround sound audio pumping the soothing sounds of NPR or, better yet, delivering the second season of CSI Miami from the DVD player (you're never safer than when Horatio Caine has your back.) And those heated leather seats... But think about what it's like on the other side of that thin, protective metal skin. The noise, not just of the engine but of rubber on pavement, various hums and whistles, the huge displacement of air as the thing whooshes by. Not to mention the smells and noxious fumes left in the wake. Violence. Think about what's actually going on in the guts of the thing - internal combustion. Four, six, eight, even ten explosions for each cycle of the crank shaft. Explosions, the detonating of petroleum distillates, right there in front of your feet. Does that sound safe? And you know what happens when they collide with one another, with immovable objects, with innocent onlookers and their pets. Like Kurt Vonnegut said, "thanks to Henry Ford (nasty anti-Semite that he was) anyone could afford to run over his neighbor's dog at 100 miles per hour." You may have heard that automobiles are not good for the environment, and if you have not heard that, I would recommend that you stop listening to talk radio and fox news (deliberately lower case, by the way.) Have you ever seen a deer, or other mammal, standing at the side of the road, watching the terrible spectacle with a mixture of terror and confusion? That is the only sane response to the unnatural violence being perpetrated against the poor creature's habitat. And that is precisely how I imagine I look as I ride my bicycle along the shoulder of mighty Route 4 on my way home from work, trying to drown out the roar with earphones stuffed in my ears, hoping to spare myself the knowledge of my likely doom. I wonder sometimes if, when he is being hit from behind, a cyclist knows that it's about to happen. If the awful clatter of an automobile actually running over you is somehow different from the awful clatter of one missing you by mere inches. Mostly though, I hope not to find out.